DAY FIVE: BIAW - And Now, for Something Completely Different

I think some of us are struggling in our writing this week. I know I did yesterday. Every word I wrote felt like I was giving birth. Ok, ok, since I have experienced the agonizing miracle of giving birth, that's not quite accurate. But you know what I mean.

I want to share an article I wrote a few years ago that might remind you why you write. And you'll know this is from a few years ago when you read the line, "Grabbed a handful of chocolate." I don't get to do that anymore! ;-)

I Write, Therefore I Am

By Melissa Marsh

Tonight I sat down at the computer to do my daily (or sometimes nightly) freewriting session. I grabbed a handful of chocolate, watched my dog’s chest rise and fall in sleep (and wondered at the same time how he could possibly be comfortable sleeping on my shoe), and clacked away on the keyboard in between sips of cold water while I tried to shut out the bickering between my two kids. Pretty normal in this household (unless I am without chocolate, in which case, a tic develops in my cheek).

But this evening’s writing produced a wayward thought that struck me quite hard:

What would I do it if I didn’t write?

Writing has been embedded in my life since the sixth grade. Before then, I had dabbled with the notion of being a teacher or a lawyer. But once the writing bug hit me, I didn’t want to do anything else. I even wrote to my favorite authors, asking, “Must I go to college? I don’t need a four-year degree to write a novel!” Thankfully, they urged me to continue my education – all of it would be fodder for the writing mill.

I loved college. My undergraduate years were full of self-discovery – I became independent, responsible, and self-sufficient. I also developed friendships that I still cherish today. But there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about writing. Not a single day.

After I graduated, it didn’t matter what job I ended up at – I always knew it would be temporary. My goal was to someday become a published novelist and to earn my living as a writer.

Years later, I still have that goal. Sure, life happened in the meantime – college, dating, marriage, children, graduate school, buying a house, etc.

But always, underlying it all, is my compulsion to write. It is ingrained so completely within my soul that I cannot imagine not writing.

So what would I do if I didn’t write?

If I could completely eradicate writing from my brain, well, I wouldn’t be me. Who knows what path my life would have taken if God had not put this desire to write within me? He had His reasons and I’ve come to believe I just have to let Him lead the way.

Quite simply, I’m a writer. This is who I am. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Copyright 2004 by MMarsh